Posted on by Phil

My Learnings from The Book of Joy

This past summer a good friend of mine bought me a copy of “The Book of Joy.”  In the last year I’d been getting into meditation/spirituality, and his wife had loved it.

While the book isn’t very long, it did take me a long time to read it for the simple reason that there is SO MUCH wisdom sprinkled throughout.   For those that don’t know, this book is basically a summary of a week of conversation between the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.  It outlines many of their core philosophies.

There are a ton of great tidbits in this book for anyone with an open mind, and I highly suggest you go buy it if you’re at all curious.

I knew it’d be a worthwhile exercise for my own self to codify some (I can’t stress ‘some’ enough – this book is full of interesting and useful wisdom) of the key lessons that I took away, and thought “why not write them up on that blog I never post to!”

So, here are a few of the lessons I took away:

  • “The purpose of life is to find happiness” – The Dalai Lama says this in the opening part of the week, and I completely agree.  Of course, finding and pursuing happiness are quite different and will lead to divergent outcomes.  As is mentioned later in the book, happiness is a byproduct of generosity, compassion, self love, and a host of other worthy pursuits.  Pursuing it directly usually ends in distraction and a focus on things like fast cars or big boats.
  • Compassion = Happiness – Do you ever have one of those days where you strike up a genuine conversation with a stranger, or get to help out someone in need?  As the book says “If you develop a strong sense of concern for the well-being of others, this will make you happy in the morning, even before coffee.”  This is very true, and you can lean test it by smiling and saying hello to each person you meet with today – I guarantee you’ll notice the change in yourself.  Of course, you can supercharge your effort through generosity.
  • A grateful mind breeds happiness – Having a bad day?  Think of something you’re truly grateful for and focus on it.  Maybe it’s as trivial as how warm your coffee is, or maybe it’s something as important as your health.  Focusing on things we’re grateful for is transformative, and a worthwhile daily practice.
  • We’re all people – This is very related to the compassion point, but I wanted to write down a key consideration made throughout the book around the negative side of personal interactions.  Ever have a boss that is horrible, or have a run in with a bully?  Realistically, these people are critical because they see the world as critical, or aggressive because they are fragile.  Forgiveness and empathy, even to people who “don’t deserve it” leads to happiness.  Side note: I’ll admit it, I can hold grudges…but letting them go feels so much better than ruminating (with the exception of when I’m trying to beat a 3 mile time and need some extra adrenaline for that final push).
  • Stress and hardship are just a part of life – According to the book, stress is actually key to our development in utero (disclaimer:  I’m no doctor).  We can all agree that it’d be crazy not to recognize the amazing role that hardship and failure play in the evolution of us as individuals.  So, try to see the bright side of your next challenge, and realize that every human on earth has to go through something similar in their lives (easier said that done!).  Apparently, the first noble truth of Buddhism is that life is full of suffering.  If you need some extra inspiration here, I highly recommend Viktor Frankel’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
  • It ain’t all fluff  – A lot of the above sounds like something a non analytical thinker would believe in, or what you may simply learn at Kindergarten (and what’s wrong with that???).  However, nothing could be further from the truth.  Following the teachings laid out in this book will actually make you happier, allow you to think clearer, and live a more “productive” life.  Beyond my own experience,  you can see that these teachings align with how humans came to be through the evolution of our species.  For example, building meaningful relationships with others is a sure fire way to be happy, which makes sense as that’s how we used to (and still do) get stuff done in society.  In fact, the book is sprinkled with actual scientific studies that detail things like lowered hypertension in people who gave away money…just in case you’re a skeptic and need some data along with the wise words 🙂

One fun thought experiment is to think about the various things future generations will know as truth that we can’t see right now.  For example, we now look back at history and think “how could they not know smoking was bad for them?” or “how could anyone not see the CDO market was a house of cards that posed a major systemic risk to the economy?”  Meditation is a great way to think more clearly about the question of what we just aren’t understanding now…and, perhaps its future adoption will be another answer to this thought experiment.

8,699 Replies to “My Learnings from The Book of Joy”

  2. We’re a bunch of volunteers and opening a new scheme in our community.

    Your web site offered us with valuable info to work
    on. You have performed a formidable job and our entire group will likely be
    thankful to you.

  4. My partner and I stumbled over here different page and thought I might check things out.
    I like what I see so now i’m following you. Look forward
    to going over your web page again.

  5. Oh my goodness! Impressive article dude!
    Many thanks, However I am having issues with your RSS.
    I don’t know the reason why I can’t subscribe to it.
    Is there anybody else getting identical RSS issues?
    Anybody who knows the solution will you kindly respond?
    Thanx!!

  7. Have you ever considered writing an e-book or
    guest authoring on other websites? I have a blog based
    on the same topics you discuss and would love to have you share some
    stories/information. I know my audience would value your work.
    If you’re even remotely interested, feel free to send me
    an e mail.

  8. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my apple ipad
    and tested to see if it can survive a 30 foot drop, just so she can be a
    youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has
    83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  9. Hello my friend! I wish to say that this post is awesome,
    great written and come with almost all significant infos.
    I’d like to peer more posts like this .

  11. I have been browsing on-line greater than three
    hours nowadays, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth sufficient for me. In my view, if all website owners and bloggers made excellent content material
    as you probably did, the internet will be a lot
    more helpful than ever before.

  14. Amazing blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from
    somewhere? A theme like yours with a few
    simple adjustements would really make my blog jump out. Please let
    me know where you got your theme. Bless you

  24. I’m not sure exactly why but this blog is loading extremely slow for me.
    Is anyone else having this problem or is it a problem on my end?
    I’ll check back later on and see if the problem still exists.

  25. I’ll right away snatch your rss as I can not to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service.

    Do you’ve any? Please allow me realize so that I could subscribe.
    Thanks.

  26. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your website and in accession capital
    to assert that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.

    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access
    consistently quickly.

  27. Undeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be on the web
    the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while
    people consider worries that they plainly do not know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing
    without having side-effects , people could take a signal.
    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  30. Heya i am for the primary time here. I came across this board and I in finding It really helpful & it
    helped me out much. I hope to provide something back and aid others like you aided
    me.

  31. Its such as you read my thoughts! You appear to grasp so much approximately this,
    like you wrote the ebook in it or something.

    I feel that you just could do with some p.c.
    to force the message house a little bit, however other than that, this
    is magnificent blog. A great read. I will certainly be back.

  34. I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you?
    Plz reply as I’m looking to construct my own blog
    and would like to know where u got this from.
    thanks a lot

  36. I don’t know whether it’s just me or if everybody else experiencing problems
    with your site. It appears as though some of the text on your content
    are running off the screen. Can somebody else please
    provide feedback and let me know if this is happening to them as well?
    This may be a issue with my browser because I’ve had this happen previously.

    Thanks

  37. I was suggested this blog through my cousin. I’m not positive whether this put up is written by way of him as no one else recognize such special about my difficulty.

    You are incredible! Thank you!

  41. A motivating discussion is definitely worth comment.
    I believe that you ought to write more about this subject, it might not be a taboo subject but typically people don’t talk about these issues.

    To the next! Kind regards!!

  42. We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our
    community. Your website offered us with valuable info to work on. You have done an impressive job and our entire community will be thankful to you.

  43. Amazing! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a completely
    different subject but it has pretty much the same layout and design. Outstanding choice of colors!

  44. When someone writes an paragraph he/she maintains the idea of a user in his/her mind that
    how a user can understand it. Thus that’s why this post is outstdanding.
    Thanks!

  45. I blog frequently and I seriously appreciate your content.
    The article has truly peaked my interest. I’m going to book mark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week.
    I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  46. An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a friend who has been conducting a little research on this.
    And he actually ordered me dinner because I found it for him…
    lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thank YOU for the meal!!
    But yeah, thanks for spending the time to talk about this matter here on your site.

  48. I’m extremely impressed with your writing skills and also
    with the layout on your weblog. Is this a paid theme or did
    you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice
    quality writing, it’s rare to see a great blog like this one today.

Comments are closed.