Posted on by Phil

My Learnings from The Book of Joy

This past summer a good friend of mine bought me a copy of “The Book of Joy.”  In the last year I’d been getting into meditation/spirituality, and his wife had loved it.

While the book isn’t very long, it did take me a long time to read it for the simple reason that there is SO MUCH wisdom sprinkled throughout.   For those that don’t know, this book is basically a summary of a week of conversation between the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu.  It outlines many of their core philosophies.

There are a ton of great tidbits in this book for anyone with an open mind, and I highly suggest you go buy it if you’re at all curious.

I knew it’d be a worthwhile exercise for my own self to codify some (I can’t stress ‘some’ enough – this book is full of interesting and useful wisdom) of the key lessons that I took away, and thought “why not write them up on that blog I never post to!”

So, here are a few of the lessons I took away:

  • “The purpose of life is to find happiness” – The Dalai Lama says this in the opening part of the week, and I completely agree.  Of course, finding and pursuing happiness are quite different and will lead to divergent outcomes.  As is mentioned later in the book, happiness is a byproduct of generosity, compassion, self love, and a host of other worthy pursuits.  Pursuing it directly usually ends in distraction and a focus on things like fast cars or big boats.
  • Compassion = Happiness – Do you ever have one of those days where you strike up a genuine conversation with a stranger, or get to help out someone in need?  As the book says “If you develop a strong sense of concern for the well-being of others, this will make you happy in the morning, even before coffee.”  This is very true, and you can lean test it by smiling and saying hello to each person you meet with today – I guarantee you’ll notice the change in yourself.  Of course, you can supercharge your effort through generosity.
  • A grateful mind breeds happiness – Having a bad day?  Think of something you’re truly grateful for and focus on it.  Maybe it’s as trivial as how warm your coffee is, or maybe it’s something as important as your health.  Focusing on things we’re grateful for is transformative, and a worthwhile daily practice.
  • We’re all people – This is very related to the compassion point, but I wanted to write down a key consideration made throughout the book around the negative side of personal interactions.  Ever have a boss that is horrible, or have a run in with a bully?  Realistically, these people are critical because they see the world as critical, or aggressive because they are fragile.  Forgiveness and empathy, even to people who “don’t deserve it” leads to happiness.  Side note: I’ll admit it, I can hold grudges…but letting them go feels so much better than ruminating (with the exception of when I’m trying to beat a 3 mile time and need some extra adrenaline for that final push).
  • Stress and hardship are just a part of life – According to the book, stress is actually key to our development in utero (disclaimer:  I’m no doctor).  We can all agree that it’d be crazy not to recognize the amazing role that hardship and failure play in the evolution of us as individuals.  So, try to see the bright side of your next challenge, and realize that every human on earth has to go through something similar in their lives (easier said that done!).  Apparently, the first noble truth of Buddhism is that life is full of suffering.  If you need some extra inspiration here, I highly recommend Viktor Frankel’s Man’s Search for Meaning.
  • It ain’t all fluff  – A lot of the above sounds like something a non analytical thinker would believe in, or what you may simply learn at Kindergarten (and what’s wrong with that???).  However, nothing could be further from the truth.  Following the teachings laid out in this book will actually make you happier, allow you to think clearer, and live a more “productive” life.  Beyond my own experience,  you can see that these teachings align with how humans came to be through the evolution of our species.  For example, building meaningful relationships with others is a sure fire way to be happy, which makes sense as that’s how we used to (and still do) get stuff done in society.  In fact, the book is sprinkled with actual scientific studies that detail things like lowered hypertension in people who gave away money…just in case you’re a skeptic and need some data along with the wise words 🙂

One fun thought experiment is to think about the various things future generations will know as truth that we can’t see right now.  For example, we now look back at history and think “how could they not know smoking was bad for them?” or “how could anyone not see the CDO market was a house of cards that posed a major systemic risk to the economy?”  Meditation is a great way to think more clearly about the question of what we just aren’t understanding now…and, perhaps its future adoption will be another answer to this thought experiment.

8,699 Replies to “My Learnings from The Book of Joy”

  5. I’m amazed, I must say. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s
    both educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you have hit
    the nail on the head. The issue is something which not enough men and women are speaking
    intelligently about. I am very happy I found this during my hunt for something regarding this.

  6. wonderful points altogether, you simply received a brand new reader.

    What might you recommend in regards to your
    submit that you simply made a few days in the past?
    Any sure?

  7. Hi, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just curious
    if you get a lot of spam comments? If so how do you protect against it, any plugin or anything you can recommend?
    I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any support is
    very much appreciated.

  11. First of all I would like to say excellent blog! I had a
    quick question which I’d like to ask if you do
    not mind. I was curious to know how you center yourself and
    clear your mind before writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my mind in getting my
    ideas out. I truly do enjoy writing however it
    just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes tend to be lost simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or hints?
    Kudos!

  13. Its like you read my thoughts! You seem to know a lot about this,
    such as you wrote the ebook in it or something.

    I feel that you simply could do with a few p.c. to force the message home a bit, however other than that, that is magnificent blog.

    A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

  15. Thank you, I’ve just been looking for info approximately this topic
    for ages and yours is the greatest I have found out so far.
    But, what concerning the bottom line? Are you positive in regards to the supply?

  16. First off I want to say great blog! I had a quick question that I’d
    like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to know how you
    center yourself and clear your head prior to writing.

    I have had a tough time clearing my mind in getting my
    thoughts out. I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems
    like the first 10 to 15 minutes are wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin.
    Any recommendations or hints? Many thanks!

  17. Heyɑ i am for the first time here. I came across
    this boaｒd and I to find It really useful & it
    helped me out a lot. I’m hօping to pｒovіde something аgain and heⅼp ⲟthеrs like
    you аided me.

    Take a look at my web page – daftar slot online

  18. Hello There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well
    written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come
    back to read more of your useful information. Thanks for the post.
    I’ll certainly comeback.

  20. You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this
    matter to be actually something which I think I would
    never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me.
    I’m looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the
    hang of it!

  21. With havin so much content do you ever run into any problems of plagorism or copyright violation?
    My website has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either authored myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of
    it is popping it up all over the internet without my permission. Do
    you know any ways to help stop content from being
    ripped off? I’d certainly appreciate it.

  22. Hi! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any issues with hackers?

    My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing a few months of hard work due to no back up.
    Do you have any methods to stop hackers?

  25. Nice post. I learn something totally new and challenging on blogs I stumbleupon on a daily basis.
    It’s always useful to read articles from other writers and practice
    a little something from their sites.

  26. An interesting discussion is definitely worth comment. I think that you need to
    publish more on this subject matter, it might not be
    a taboo matter but usually people don’t talk about such issues.

    To the next! Kind regards!!

  28. Good web site you have here.. It’s difficult to find quality writing like
    yours nowadays. I really appreciate individuals like you!
    Take care!!

  29. Hello to all, because I am actually eager of reading this website’s
    post to be updated regularly. It contains pleasant information.

  31. After I originally commented I appear to have clicked the -Notify me when new comments
    are added- checkbox and from now on each time a comment is added I get four emails with the same comment.
    There has to be a means you can remove me from that service?

    Many thanks!

  32. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert that I
    get in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement
    you access consistently fast.

  33. you are in point of fact a good webmaster. The website loading velocity is incredible.
    It seems that you are doing any distinctive
    trick. Moreover, The contents are masterpiece. you’ve done a magnificent task in this
    topic!

  34. Hello every one, here every one is sharing these kinds of experience, therefore it’s fastidious
    to read this blog, and I used to visit this weblog
    all the time.

  36. Great blog here! Also your website loads up fast!
    What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host?
    I wish my site loaded up as quickly as yours lol

  38. Excellent post. Keep posting such kind of info on your page.
    Im really impressed by your blog.
    Hello there, You have performed a great job. I will definitely digg it and individually recommend to
    my friends. I’m sure they will be benefited from this web
    site.

  39. you’re in reality a just right webmaster.
    The website loading velocity is amazing. It
    seems that you are doing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterwork.
    you’ve done a excellent activity on this subject!

  42. Greetings from Colorado! I’m bored at work so I decided to browse your site
    on my iphone during lunch break. I really like the information you provide here and can’t wait to take a look when I
    get home. I’m amazed at how quick your blog loaded on my cell phone ..
    I’m not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, amazing blog!

  44. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I
    provide credit and sources back to your weblog?
    My blog site is in the very same area of interest as yours and my users would truly benefit
    from some of the information you present here. Please let me
    know if this okay with you. Thanks!

  45. Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell
    and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to
    her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had
    to tell someone!

  46. Hey There. I found your blog using msn. This is an extremely well
    written article. I’ll make sure to bookmark it and return to read more of your useful
    info. Thanks for the post. I will certainly return.

  47. Undeniably believe that that you stated. Your favourite justification seemed to be at the internet the easiest thing to take into account of.
    I say to you, I certainly get annoyed even as other folks consider issues that
    they plainly don’t realize about. You controlled to hit
    the nail upon the highest and also outlined out the entire thing
    with no need side effect , people can take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  48. Howdy would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different web browsers and I
    must say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a honest
    price? Thank you, I appreciate it!

  49. This is the perfect website for anybody who wants to understand
    this topic. You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you (not
    that I really would want to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a topic that’s been written about for years.
    Excellent stuff, just wonderful!

Comments are closed.